The Spaghetti Incident

We here at the One Day Will be Farewell blahg (which is only yours truly) are continuing to play a bit of catch up from the past week of events that happened in the city. The City in which I dwell never ceases to amaze me and if you live here you know what I mean (wink, wink). New York city is a bottomless well of material to rant about and last week was seriously no different especially when it came to the subway.



I haven't a clue if you, the reader, have ever ridden on the MTA, but riding the train can be quite an adventure. The above video shows just one scenario that can play out for those who unfortunately open their mouth to the wrong group of girls in the wrong place at the wrong time. There is nothing more enjoyable than riding to work and bearing witness to pasta being tossed in someones face while the tossers friend repeats "Don't get in her face" over and over (I personally can't compete with that argument). Fortunately for us, someone with the technology was there to record the situation go down.

I will tell you this, if I witnessed those two girls sitting there and they began to annoy me, I would have to either a: sat there taking it like a man and ignoring it, or b: eject myself from the situation by moving away from the potential powder keg (or pasta in this matter) ready to blow. I have no idea why that woman even opened her mouth to complain, but she should have known that she was not dealing with one but two girls as soon as her lips parted like the red sea to voice the opinion she was soon to regret.

Waiting for next available table

Since this incident has spider webbed it's way across the internet and local television, the MTA is now contemplating the banning of food consumption on the subway. I personally don't take issue with this, but those who enjoy eating their meals while smelling garbage, body odor and urine while our rat overlords run around and poop at their feet may take issue. Would I feel bad eating my meal next to a homeless individual on the train who's passed out next to me dreaming of the meal I'm eating is not a question I never want to be in the position to ask myself.

Bon Appétit, my overlords

If the MTA actually proceeds to ban the consumption of food on the subway, then perhaps some will be pretty annoyed, but then again for most, the overall ride to work may become more enjoyable (although not soon enough for the lady in the video). If they do not go through with the ban then may be they can remove all of the seats so people can't throw their waste under them. Either way, I don't really care where people eat, if I have a problem I'll simply move away than put myself in an embarrassing situation like eating on the subway.

All of this leads me to reaffirm that riding my bike to work is more enjoyable than riding the train. Having to coexist with other people in a silver tube that propels itself through the underground realm of our rat overlords can be too troublesome for me.

#FroggerNYC

This is actually a post that I had posted yesterday, but due to my stupidity, I lost the entire thing. I lost the draft, the post, and the images I used, so I've had to go and rewrite it as best as i could remember, and so here it is, once again, for your reading enjoyment.

An overhead view of my ride to work

Cycling to work at times or anywhere can be a hair raising experience, especially when you are living in the Capital of the world. At various times, it reminds me of the 80's arcade game Frogger. Each day I ride represents another level of the game. It's almost like Ground Hog Day, where I continue to relive the same day over and over. Poor Frogger has to dodge obstacles while on his way from point A to point B, and so too does the NYC cyclist. Even though NYC is becoming a safer place to ride, even as the days are pushing us toward our impending doom in 2012 (thanks myan calendar, you're such a downer), we still have to deal with obstacles in our own real life game of Frogger, and although I am not a frog, I do occasionally look like one as I am pedaling down the street.

The Taxi Cab

One of the most dangerous characters to look out for in this game is the Taxi cab. Off the bike, the taxi can be your friend, taking you home late at night when you're too drunk and don't have the patience to wait for the train, but while on your bike, the taxi has great potential to kill you. They regard the rules in the same manner that pirates observe the pirate code, more like a set of guidelines than actual rules, and they are more than willing to parlay with your life. The taxi will without any given notice, pull into the bike lane ahead of you and instantly open its door like the claw of a crab. The taxi will then proceed to release its clutch of passengers, spilling them into the street causing you to swerve out into traffic or into a parked car to avoid collision with them. The cabbie will then look at you, smugly roll his window up, and quickly speed away in his banana colored car with beaded seat cover, leaving you to inhale his exhaust fumes. Hey taxi, nice dice on your rearview mirror.

The Delivery Man

Now the delivery man, happens to be one of the more dirtier players in the game, partly because he himself is a cyclist. Normally, he can be seen on a mountain bike, but lately as China becomes a world super power, they can be more frequently seen coasting around on electric steeds. Delivery man has a job to perform and nothing is going to stop him from acheiving his goal of delivering that hot pizza in 30 minutes or less. I can't blame him though, like a momma bird regurgetating food for  her babies, so too does the delivery man have a flock of mouths to feed. He will come out of no where, cutting you or anyone off while riding on the sidewalk. He will display no concern as he travels the opposite way up any street or bike lane, so beware of him. Sometimes, I won't even notice him coming at me until he's almost on top of me. Please delivery man, attach some lights on your bike, I can't see you in the dark.

Notice the blank stare of the pedestrian

The Pedestrian

The third and final character that I will write about today, is the pedestrian. What makes the pedestrian scary is they possess characteristics of both the taxi and the delivery man. The pedestrian is slow like a turtle, but will freeze up like a deer in headlights when you are moving towards them, Even if it would be fun to run over them, I would never intentionally hurt any pedestrian, though at times I may have thought about it (almost like how motorists wish to run over cyclists). They will pop out of no where like a whack a mole, right into your damn path making you either swerve into traffic like the taxi does, or forcing you samsh into the back of a parked car. As if the lane is an extension of the sidewalk, they will stand smack dab in middle of the bike lane as they wait for the light to change. They become very snarky when you ask them to watch out as you ride in the very place you are suppose to be. You know pedestrian, we wouldn't interact as much if you followed the rules like you would like me to do.

Those are just a couple of things cyclists encounter living in their own game of Frogger. There are many other things I can bring to light such as pot holes, ice, homeless people, snakes on a plane and garbage trucks that can join in for game time. Oh, and don't forget to add cops to this ever growing list, but I will definitely wait for another time to write about them, they probably deserve their own post.

Wow, another level/day draws to a close. I have made it safely back to my lily pad, having dodged cars, delivery men, and pedestrians. I have crossed the river and can now relax. I may have lowered my power level on occasion by being involved in minor accidents, but I have yet to loose my life and restart the game (yes, I know we can't hit restart after we die). And so I look forward to waking up and playing the game all over again tomorrow.

Riding over the Willy B, Part I

Photo from: http://www.nyc.gov/

As I sit on my sofa, I am forced to listen to my landlords spawn run rampant in their apartment above me. Every night when I return home from a long day this scenario will play out at least until 9:30 at which point I believe they go to bed. As they toss out the window any concern about whether their noise bothers me, I begin to think about my day's ride home from work.

My commute for the most part is relatively flat, except for when it comes to the Williamsburg Bridge which happens to span the East river. The Williamsburg, though not as famous as the Brooklyn bridge, basks in its own awesomeness as it connects Hipsterburg to Manhattan. The view while crossing the bridge to Manhattan or neighboring Brooklyn are an amazing site to behold, not unlike the awesome parade that happens ever year over in the West Village.

Photo from: http://www.untitledname.com

Wooo, double walk path all the way across the sky, I mean bridge. (see what I did there?). One path is for cycling, the other for pedestrians, although the walkers prefer to use the bike path while listening to the hottest band I will never hear of in headphones made from unicorn horn. Also, there are people who will spread out taking up the entire width of the paths while walking over the bridge, but I'll leave them out of this.

Many a PBR swiller travels over the bridge to and from the city, skip hopping on their track bikes to their barista, or arty type jobs. I honestly haven't a clue where they work, but for the sake of this blog, they are all baristas. To be honest, I too, am guilty of skip hopping down the bridge on my way to my deluxe half cubicle in the sky (not so Good Times). Though I can easily lump myself into the same group as the swiller, I am but chunky and also drink a higher quality of beer (to each their own). We all have messenger bags slung over our shoulders, but there are actually very few us out making deliveries. Maybe, it's times for backpack.

Night time, I usually can fly over the bridge, mornings not so much. In the a.m., I possess neither the energy or the desire to quickly go up the steep Brooklyn side of the bridge. I used to enjoy trying to pass people on the bridge, but screw that. I'm not a road or alleycat racer. I don't wear a king of the mountain jersey nor do I collect UCI points. I'm not being paid to pass a person who isn't even aware they are loosing a race that is transpiring only in the chasm of my mind. This means I'll never stand on a podium and spray champagne at reporters. I'll leave that to the Ivan Bassos and  Cavendishs' of the world. (By the way, I totally love watching cycling races, which is why I know those two names).

Photo by: Daniel Schtwen via wiki 

Even though I try my hardest not to race, it still remains enjoyable ride over the bridge, especially at this time year. There are not too many people who ride in extreme cold weather, because it can suck worse than a surprise drug test you know you're about to fail, and so, many people avoid winter cycling. I can still enjoy stealing glimpses of people riding the JMZ, knowing the MTA is about to make them late for work. The auto congestion on the bridge gives me satisfaction as well, as I know I can get to the light at the bottom and be on my way before cars can finish a top 100 commercial break. These are just a couple things that keep my mind off my burning thighs as I muscle my way over the bridge. Oh, the joy.



And so goes another trip across the bridge. To be continued....

Cycling to work

My bike waiting for me to finish work.

I came to the realization that riding my bike to work is like eating dinner, but in reverse. I don't mean the obvious, in which riding to work occurs in the morning and dinner takes place in the evening. I mean work is like brussel sprouts, you must eat them and finish your plate before you can move onto dessert. To me, Cycling is my dessert, and work represents the sprouts on the plate I don't care to finish. Basically, I eat my dessert and then have to sit at my desk and stare for eight hours at a plate that I don't want to eat.

Currency is needed pay to bills whether it's rent, or supporting a hobby like bicycling. And so, sitting at a desk (or dinner plate for 8 hours), being told what to do by people you would never consider speaking to or noticing in everyday life, is just something we all have to do in order to succeed. And, so we trudge along Monday to Friday in a repetitive fashion so we can pay those bills and support our habits, which for me is my bicycle.

Then again, you could very well be one of the inhabitants of Williamsburg, who enjoy dessert all day long living off a trust fund or off their parents, while galavanting around in tight pants thinking they're some amazing artist, playing kick ball in the park. Unlike them, I'm too fat and not able to wear skinny girl pants like those hipsters and not look bad (although guys in girl jeans look bad no matter what), and so I have to roll my pants leg up while I ride to work. Incidentally, I would trade places with any one of them for any given summer just be able to skip dinner and eat dessert (riding my bike) all day.

So flip the coin now if you will. It's now the end of the day, I have written a pointless blog and I have worked hard. Now, I have all evening to eat dessert, or in this case ride my bike. How lovely is that? It wasn't all that bad. Of course, it's only Wednesday and so the process repeats all over again tomorrow, but at least I can ride my bike to and from work.

Face covered to protect the innocent
Notice the needle?

On a side note...
I know that people in other countries eat things that Americans do not. Hey, who am I to judge. I am very sure that I eat things that other people would find disgusting. This morning, as I was walking my girlfriends dog like I normally do, a gentlemen (who in this case looks like he would eat strange things, as well as hail from a country where their gymnasts lie about their age at the Olympics) walked past me staring at the dog. I thought to myself "Man, this guy's looking at my dog as if she looks delicious?" Is it wrong for me to think this way, or have I just seen too many things on television that I can not unsee?

Candy Bars and the Knicks

Car(a)mel(l)o

Since I live in the Rotten Apple I suppose I should be ecstatic about the Knicks signing Carmelo. As reality has it, basketball does not capture my attention in the least bit. Though, now when I hear Carmelo's name, instantly I crave Caramello's. Caramello's are those succulent Chocolate candy bars filled with chewy caramel. Caramello's should not be mistaken for Carmelo, who incidentally, not filled with caramel, but with blood, organ, and bones, like a hunter's garbage can after he has gutted a deer and thrown away the entrails, but both I assume are of equal chocolatey goodness.

I will say, New York is a large city. I'll even go as far and say that according to wiki, Gotham is the most populated city in the United States. So it's about time Gotham has the calibre of a player like a Kobe beef or a Shake Shaq dribbling that orange ball up and down the lane for the Knicks. For this, I extend a congratulation to New York!

As all this excitement over a basketball player whose name conjures thoughts and cravings for the before mentioned candy bar, New York continues to trudge through a rough winter. Today's no different, it's literally 17 degrees outside and this really makes me wonder why any of us would continue to live this far north. I guess we all have our own reasons: the culture, the night life, job opportunities, running from the law, too broke to move out of the city etc...

Since the snow has finally melted from the blast we received the day after Xmas, I have continued to ride my bicycle everywhere. Is riding my bike a love, or an addiction? I definitely love riding my bike. On the other hand (it would be my right hand since I'm left handed), could say I am addicted to riding, not in a Charlie Sheen addicted to coke and hookers addiction, but in way where you just have to do it because it just makes you feel good (though that sounds similar to a coke and hooker addiction). Plus, as we all know, you don't have to deal with tardiness of the MTA. Besides, it's enjoyable, to watch the city wake up as you ride to work, as opposed to being stuffed inside a cattle car like box, knowing you will most likely wind up late for work.

Like I said, people are addicted to various things. Like I mentioned before, I am addicted to riding my bike and Charlie Sheen is addicted to hookers and coke. Some people (as am I), are addicted to chocolate. Chocolate is considered an aphrodisiac. Now, as I satisfy one addiction by cycling work every morning, I will also satisfy, not only my chocolate addiction by eating a Caramello, but I will think of Carmelo and the Knicks as well.

And so as winter rolls forward, I will ride my bike and more New Yorkers will be watching more basketball because of the newly acquired addition of Carmelo. Everyone will be happy, well except for those people riding the MTA who will most likely be late for work.

MTA go away, come back another day

Screen capture of my twitter feed

It's sometimes amazing to read my Twitter feed. A lot of people complain about the MTA. Sure, the MTA is terrible, they have a rising deficit, service is becoming worse and worse as the days roll by, but you yourself make the personal choice to utilize this aging transportation system.

One of the most common complaints about the MTA, besides fare increases, seems to be lateness getting to work. Everyone is late to work. How many times to do you have to ride the subway before you realize that it's a terrible experience? The worst part is, the MTA has you gripped by the balls, squeezing them for every last penny. MTA can increase the fares and give you a terrible performance and people are still going to pack the subways' heading to work, like cows' being lead to slaughter.

Spring is lurking around the corner, I know this, because Staten Island ChucK did not see his shadow this year. And so, perhaps if you are tired of the MTA's antics, then maybe it's time you look into another means of getting about. I myself ride a bicycle to work, or I walk to most places. Once you have the bike and the means to lock it up, that's it, it's yours. You don't have to pay money, it's healthier, and you'll have more money for you to waste on PBR, or what ever watered down attempt at a beer you drink. Besides, you won't be smashed up against some creepy guy with bad breath looking over your shoulder while you're playing around with your iphone.

With all of the new bikes lanes springing up, the city is much safer to ride around. Why not get out of the cattle car and into the streets with a bike and liberate yourself from the grasp of the MTA. Save the train for a rainy day.