Bedbugs are #winning

My exoskeleton would seriously be quivering in pure anger right now if I were a roach, knowing that with all the attention bed bugs have been receiving in the media, that some serious shit is about to go down. I'm not really sure how long roaches are going to idly sit there, putting up with the attention bed bugs have been recently receiving in the media (Gothamist, NBC, just to name two), but it can only be a matter of time before their worlds collide. Seriously, you would be angered too if you worked hard for many years to obtain the status of pest numero uno, only to have some bed bug that sleeps around coming in and stealing your thunder.

Knowing roaches to be the true New Yorkers that they are, I'm sure they are already working on a course of action, these guys don't have the ability to survive an apocalypse for nothing. Since roaches are able to associate the scent of vanilla and peppermint with a sugar treat, then it's only a matter of time before they start setting up Facebook pages and Communicating via twitter to move their anti bedbug agenda forward. I'm pretty sure they have been participating in community board meetings as well as solidarity walks to thwart the rise of these pesky bedbugs.

You can't blame roaches for hating on those pervy bedbugs. You don't see roaches sleeping around jumping from bed to bed like some free loving hippie. I would not want to be a bedbug having to sit there every night and wondering if my bedbug queen was out there having her royal crop plowed by someone outside of our swarm. You just don't see a good wholesome roachs partaking in such activities.

Bedbugs are arriving daily to the big apple gentrifying the city one bed at a time. Whether hopping on a train like a traveling hobo, arriving via bicycle, or now taking to the air as the newest jet setters in this larvae laying insect world, they are encroaching on the roaches turf. Soon enough these stowaways are going to want voting rights and equal employment opportunities.

bedbug bin laden

What side will you be on when tensions erupt this summer between roaches and bedbugs? Will you remain loyal to those who only eat your food or will you side with the those who snuggle up next you like a warm fuzzy cat, only to turn around and eat you? I'm quite sure if any roach catch you with their large compound eyes sleeping with the enemy, that any coexistence you were forced with them is off the table. 

Will you stand up and speak out against bedbugs even if your property value may decrease? Or will you in a desperate New York time, stand up along side your fellow New Yorker roach and come together in solidarity to fight these bedbug bin ladens that are trying to take away of freedom of sleeping comfortably?


(note: after writing this whole thing a friend of mine told me the Onion wrote a story about roaches vs bedbugs. you can read it here : http://linkee.com/62xnHV)