Fantasy Facebook Team

This is a post that you jocks or jockettes out there who love football to the point where you play fantasy (ha, don't worry, I myself play fantasy football as well). For all the geeks out there just replace any reference to fantasy football with Dungeons and Dragon nerd references.

Ready to join this bush league?

Welcome rookie to the inaugural draft of your Fantasy Facebook Team, finally your time has arrived after listening to your friends go on and on and on endlessly about how awesome it is play fantasy, which in this case is Facebook. Unlike real fantasy sports (which are still fantasy) you will not actually compete to win money but simply have your personal information sold to 3rd parties by commissioner Zuckerberg controller of the league, while you whittle away at time, checking to see if anyone liked your post (like I will be doing after I post this). Either way, you'll be pleased as you build a winning dynasty showing how awesome you are by the amount of players you have collected in your friends list to play on your team. Good luck!

The starting line up of your fantasy Facebook team are those in your friends list who entertain you with cutesy anecdotes or music video posts featuring bands you listened to back in the day while you experimented with the occasional narcotic. They are starters for a reason because they bring their "A" game with all of their newsfeed activity giving you a reason to return to Facebook and divvy out "like"s left and right. You probably actually see your starters in your real life, such as meeting them at the Friday night spot on some corner where you grab a pint of something or other, chatting for awhile with them about home brew before stumbling out the door to prepare for the forthcoming Saturday morning hang over.

use your imagination to
make the eyes move

If you have starters on your fantasy team then surely you have players sitting on your bench waiting for the potential opportunity to start. Your bench consists of those friends who simply come in for a play, or perhaps when a starter is out of action, post a comment or proceed to give you one of those annoying pokes (whoever came up with the poke is an ass, just sayin) then sits back down for rest of the game which in this case since it's Facebook could be days to months. Nothing's wrong with being a bench warmer but these friends equate to one of those paintings on Scooby Doo where the eyes follow you back and forth while never saying anything, only to creep you out knowing that even though they aren't commenting they are watching you (I myself, warm the bench on various fantasy Facebook teams so warmer so fellow bench warmer you are not alone).

taste one for the team

Just like fantasy football, Facebook too has the free agency as well as the waiver wire. Free agents are like free samples at Costco where you enjoy a taste and if you enjoy that taste you can add that item to your shopping cart, but in this case you simply send them an invite asking them to join your friends list squad. Of course, the flip side to the coin is you can easily release your friends to the waiver wire, especially when their point of view is too fanatical to the point where you want to kick them out of a third story window onto a bed of spikes because it's the totally opposite of your own point of view. Simply, the people you may have known 20 years ago are not the person you have on your squad now and so they have to go. Hey, if you aren't performing you get cut from the team and if you're not lucky it could be with a knife (just kidding).

Your fantasy Facebook squad is looking tight!! You have made all of the right moves and are sitting pretty with a bomb squad of people players who are there to propel you through your day of work with lol cat pictures and such. "Is hungry" and "is bored" are just two of the awesome posts that you are now going to read time and time again, Although when the game is a close one, the chance is always there that one of your substitutes will come off the bench and drop some crazy 80's song lyric from high school making you relive some awkward moment thus winning the fantasy Facebook championship even though there isn't ta championship to be won in the first place.

Game on!