Facebook, crack of the internet

Friend Request

I bet when most of you wake up in the morning and not in any particular order, you go to the bathroom, scratch yourself and check Facebook. Perhaps, you do all three at the same time  and don't get me wrong, I'm right there with you, yawning while I'm checking my Newsfeed while trying not to spray on the floor.

I think Facebook addiction is right up there with crack, nicotine and maybe caffeine. It's not to the level of a Charlie Sheen addiction to coke and porn stars, and I'm hoping that it will not come to that or else I may need an intervention. Ironically, I hope my intervention is conducted by those in my friend list, particularly by the friends who have yet to post even once on my wall.

Friends list

Did you ever feel like you were an action figure in some child's toy collection? Well, if you did, it means you are in someone's friend list. It's almost as if you're an action figure that has been stuffed away neatly in a carrying case, the shape of Darth Vader's head. The more friends in your friends list, the easier it would to be to find your toy equivalent at Kmart. Some people have like 500 friends in their list, they can't possibly even know half of them on a personal level. We need the friends list though, because without it Facebook would prove to be pointless (which it kind of is), sort of like this blog (which definitely is pointless). If you look to image on the left, you are the person 3rd row down, 3rd from the right.

I'm sure throughout the day we all have posted something on our wall only to patiently sit and wait for someone to "like" it, or make some a comment on it. I almost feel the same way every time I post something to the blog you are currently reading. Don't fret social networker, I'm sure I'm going to "like" that post you made about the lunch that you didn't like. I realize that everyone, myself included, don't really have a lot to say, which is why everyone likes to post 80's song lyrics, wax philosophical, or letting us know they have picked lint out of their navel. Yes, I'm talking to you lint girl!

Don't take this exit

Who ever you are that created all the Facebook games, like Farmville, need to stop before you get cut with a dull blade. I'm seriously too busy being tagged in a photo I was hoping to never see again, to want to help anyone water their crops while helping that stray penguin that wandered onto the farm back to his melting ice cap. Actually, it's pretty amusing when your tagged in a photo and seeing how terrible you looked "back in the day", but I still hate the games. I block them all with an instant of seeing them pop into my newsfeed.

Have you poked? I don't mean at the end of the night when you're too drunk and simply grab the closest beast to you and drag them home, waking up the next morning enveloped in regret. Awww, I just threw up in my mouth picturing you doing that. Well, I'm not talking about that poke, I'm talking about that annoying thing that happens to me from time to time on Facebook. I'm still trying to figure out what the purpose of poking is. Can someone explain?

Well well, we have reached the end of my post for today, I've scratched, I didn't make mess on the seat and I've checked my status. Don't get me wrong I totally enjoy Facebook, although it's a total dick move that they are trying to give your personal information away to 3rd parties, being able to reconnect rekindle friendships with people I haven't been in contact for many years is, truly awesome. Aww, I just got sentimental (then threw up in my mouth again thinking about how emo it was being sentimental).